Trailers

I think I have an addiction to trailer. Not the cars. The things that come before a movie. I  love them so much. They are usually a lot better than the movie itself. There are so many movies that have trailers that I think are better than the movie. There are some trailers that I could watch over and over because the editing is great and the music is so amazing. Nothing beats a good trailer song.

Not only do I love real movie trailers. I love browsing Youtube for people who create movie style trailers for television shows. It’s really hard to find good ones. The good ones are really good, but the bad ones are bad in so many ways. There are a lot of people who just seem to string together their favorite clips from a show. And then they just add a song on top of it. It’s usually a really bad pop song that doesn’t even go with the video. The best kind of trailer video edits the footage to go along with the songs they have chosen.

I think that I would really like to make some of these trailers myself, but I don’t know much about video editing. I think my videos would probably be just as bad as the ones that I hate so much. Like most thing though, I’ll only know if I can do it if I try it out. I do have imovie on my computer, but I would really like to use some real, professional video editing software. I know I am getting ahead of myself, but when I get the idea to do something, I really want to go all out.

The big problem with this addiction is that I honestly end up spending hours on youtube trying to find the perfect videos. It has become a bit of a crazy addiction.  

A year alone

I wonder what it would feel like to spend an entire year alone. Would I go crazy, or would I have a lot of time to accomplish things in my life. In the perfect scenario I would be completely alone, with enough money to survive the year. What would I get done in that amount of time with no obligations?

For some reason this idea is really appealing. In reality I would probably go insane from loneliness. But in my perfect vision I would do so many things. I’d finally have enough time to read hundreds of books. There’s a whole bunch of television shows that I could finally knock off of my must watch list. I think I’d improve several skills. I’d learn some musical instruments and maybe even a language. 

It’s probably unrealistic to think that I would ever be able to accomplish that many things in a year. Even if I was alone, I don’t think it would be possible to do such a thing.

Where would I live if I did something like this? I think I’d like to be in a really naturey place where there is no one around except for animals. I’d like there to be  a field and maybe a nice lake. Even though this sounds really pleasant, I think at night I would be really afraid that someone was going to come out of the forest and murder me. I’d never be able to watch any scary movies because they would leave me in a state of paranoia.

I think there are books on people who have done something like this before. I would like to read them. I guess that is something that I am going to have to add to my list of things I want to read. The only issue is I might really start wanting to do this for real.

Baking fun times

I've recently discovered that I love to bake. I never wanted to bake before because I thought it was a pain in the butt. I also had a terrible time trying attempting to bake a cake which ended up taking 6 hours. Even though it tasted really great 6 hours if a long time for cake baking.

Then I found the itch to bake again when I found a really simple cookie recipe. The cookies were quick to make, and they were delicious. Ever since the cookies I have been scraping the internet for all sorts of recipes so that I can do more baking.

My mom has been letting me use her hand mixer and baking is a lot easier now, but I was pondering about whether or not I should invest in a stand mixer if I intend to bake on a regular basis. They look so cute and I can use them for other things rather than just baking. They are not cheap, but I have heard that they are long lasting. I think I might actually buy one after doing a bit of research and looking at some stand mixer reviews at this site http://itsamixer.com.

Either way, I know I'm going to continue loving to bake. It's not only fun, but now I always have a yummy snack in the house.

Cupcakes

I really like cupcakes. Me and a friend of mine made a pact that we would go around to every bakery trying to discover where the best cupcakes are. My favorite cupcakes are ones that are light and moist. I love a cupcake that has a light cream on top as well. I really don’t like heavy, thick, and sweet frostings. They usually distract from the way the cake tastes.

It’s hard to find a good cupcake though. I have had my fair share of amazing ones. But there are a lot of popular chains that sell cupcakes and they have a really generic and bland taste to them. People go crazy for these kinds of cupcakes and I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe they just don’t know any better. I wish I could go around the world and show everyone what a good cupcake is supposed to taste like.

It’s interesting that I like cupcakes so much because I don’t really like cake. Maybe it’s because cupcakes are smaller than cakes so they taste more delicious. I have been trying to bake the perfect cupcakes at home, but I’m not very good at it to be honest. I can’t seem to nail the lightness that bakeries can. I know if I keep practicing I’ll finally be able to do it. But I think my family is starting to get frustrated with my wasting lots of ingredients on my journey to make the perfect cupcake.

I think when I get married, instead of having a large cake, I want to have one of those stands that has lots of different cupcakes arranged on it. I never really want to have a large crazy wedding party. I think what I’d like the most is to just have a room with me and my husband and a bunch of cupcakes.

Bars

 I don’t like bars. I don’t understand why so many young people congregate in places that are so dark and dreary.  It seems like when you go out that’s all people want to do. They want to go to a bar and they want to have drinks.

Bars are the worst place to go for a hang out. They stink because you can’t really have a conversation. You have to yell so that the other person can hear you speaking. After a while I get sick of yelling. I hate the way my throat hurts. I hate that there is sports on all of the TVs. That’s not even interesting to watch. Why don’t they put something good on. I’d even take the news over sports.

I hate the way in bars you can be surrounded by so many people but be completely alone. You don’t know who any of the people are. You’re probably not going to talk to any of the, or make any sort of connection with them. And even if there is someone you talk to, it’s not like you can hear what they are saying anyway.

Drinking is no fun either. It’s really expensive. The bar tenders usually have a tendency to ignore me. One time me and a friend of mine were so ignored by the bartender that we ended up leaving without even paying. We had been there for hours and he hadn’t paid any attention to us. I still feel guilty about it to this day. Like a stole some nasty drinks.

I think I would like bars more if they were a bit more quiet and friendly. I wish there were bars that were more like coffee shops. Where the music they play is low enough for you to talk. And I wish all of the drinks were as delicious as coffee.

Agoraphobia

I think I have developed a fear of leaving my house. I think that’s called agoraphobia. But I don’t think it’s so bad that I could classify it as a fear. Working from home makes me get used to never going anywhere. I have to do my work in my house, and then by the time I am finished working, there isn’t really any time to do anything else.

Whenever someone invites me out I don’t really feel like going. It’s weird because I do want to do things. I don’t want to sit around in my house doing nothing all day. But when the invitation to go and do something comes, it seems like such a hassle. We need to plan out when to meet. I need to travel for several hours just to get anywhere since none of my friends live close to me. Then there is the part where I have to pick out clothes and get dressed. I need to make myself look presentable to the world.

I don’t like getting like this. I want to experience the world and do things, but the more I stay at home the less I want to leave. I know the easiest way to do this would be to force myself to go outside more often, but I can’t do that because work requires me to stay at home. And I can’t bring my work with me because I work on a desktop computer. Although it would be really funny to see a little person like me carrying a huge imac on a bus. And then I would walk into starbucks and plug it in like it’s no big deal. I may have to do this just as a sort of social experiment. People would probably think they were on a prank show.

Awkward

I am very awkward. Always have been and probably always will be. I think it might be a family thing because both my mom and my sister are very awkward people. It’s something that can really get in the way of every day life. I want to be able to interact with people like a normal human. But I always find myself feeling weird in any kind of social situation.

When I was younger I was very awkward as well. I always had trouble making friends, and I never really had large groups of friends. Usually the people that I was friends with were people who made the effort to speak to me. I’ve never been the sort of person who could start a conversation on my own.

I feel awkward around people I know as well. Sometimes I feel like I need to  prepare conversation topics beforehand because I am afraid of awkward lulls in conversation. I usually don’t need to do that, but the fact that I even need to think about it is a little irritating. I want to be able to go out and have fun with friends without worrying that I am not being myself.

That’s another problem that I have. I have issues being myself. When I am alone I feel the most like who I am supposed to be. I guess that’s normal.  But when I am around other people I feel as though I am being different versions on myself depending on who I am with. I want to be the best self that I can be around everyone. I’m not entirely sure how to do that. I wonder if there are a lot of other people who struggle with this as well. Maybe if I spend more time away from my home I’d be better at not being awkward. But I lived in a social environment for four years in college and I am still the same.