I am very awkward. Always have been and probably always will
be. I think it might be a family thing because both my mom and my sister are
very awkward people. It’s something that can really get in the way of every day
life. I want to be able to interact with people like a normal human. But I
always find myself feeling weird in any kind of social situation.
When I was younger I was very awkward as well. I always had
trouble making friends, and I never really had large groups of friends. Usually
the people that I was friends with were people who made the effort to speak to
me. I’ve never been the sort of person who could start a conversation on my
own.
I feel awkward around people I know as well. Sometimes I
feel like I need to prepare conversation
topics beforehand because I am afraid of awkward lulls in conversation. I
usually don’t need to do that, but the fact that I even need to think about it
is a little irritating. I want to be able to go out and have fun with friends
without worrying that I am not being myself.
That’s another problem that I have. I have issues being
myself. When I am alone I feel the most like who I am supposed to be. I guess
that’s normal. But when I am around
other people I feel as though I am being different versions on myself depending
on who I am with. I want to be the best self that I can be around everyone. I’m
not entirely sure how to do that. I wonder if there are a lot of other people
who struggle with this as well. Maybe if I spend more time away from my home I’d
be better at not being awkward. But I lived in a social environment for four
years in college and I am still the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment